I want to get your take on something… Who is responsible for the success of a date? 1. He is. 2. You are. 3. You’re both equally responsible. Got your answer? It probably seems pretty obvious to you. But for me all three of those options hold a little truth. No matter which answer you picked, you hit on something important for relationships . And at the end of this article, you will know the secret that makes a REALLY great date. Option #1. HE is responsible for the date. If a man asks you out on a date, then clearly he’s responsible for the outcome. He’s the one who asked to see you. He’s the one who decided what you’d be doing and where you’d be doing it. If it’s a flop, then it’s clearly his fault. He didn’t put enough effort into it. Any guy who thinks that showing up is good enough—he doesn’t have to hold up his end of the conversation, or put on a clean shirt, or pretend to be interested—needs to wake up. Women don’t want boys. They’re looking for real men who don’t need hand-ho

  Every so often, a study comes out that makes me want to cheer. I can talk about the importance of being yourself as much as I like. But unless there’s research to back it, it’s just my opinion. And that opinion isn’t shared by old-school dating advice, which tells women to fit in or else. If you want a man, you shouldn’t rock the boat. You should be ladylike, accommodating, and appropriate. Don’t risk scaring him off by revealing anything too odd about yourself. Luckily, scientific inquiry seems to be pointing us toward a different conclusion. It turns out that old-school dating advice is all wrong. Modern men want nonconformist women. They want women who rock the boat. Women who don’t fit in. Women with idiosyncrasies and quirks that make them smile. The authors of this particular piece of research [1] wanted to be extra sure, so they designed five separate studies to test the hypothesis that men prefer nonconformist women. The first thing they found was that women overestimate the

Kelly didn’t even like Jonah. And yet here she was, glancing down at her phone every few minutes, listening to breakup songs. She met him on Tinder. He seemed nice enough. They went out a handful of times. Enough to make her think they were dating, or at least moving in that direction. But recently Jonah had stopped texting her. Occasionally he’d text back if she texted him first, but otherwise she never heard from him. Her girlfriends told her to forget about him. After all, hadn’t Kelly said she wasn’t sure about him? Jonah was an okay guy, but certainly not her ideal match. Kelly knew she should listen to her girlfriends. She should put Jonah out of her head. There were a few guys on Tinder who wanted to meet up. She should throw herself back in the dating pool. But she didn’t want to. She just wanted Jonah to chase her again. Why We Hate Losing ? You’ve heard it said a thousand times:  “We always want what we can’t have.” But you may not realize there’s an even more powerful princi

  You can tell what he’s thinking, even when he doesn’t say a word.  You can finish each other’s sentences.  You’re in tune with him like no one else. That is sometimes what true love feels like… Knowing each other so well that words aren’t necessary. But if this is true, then why are some researchers saying it’s a problem? Who Knows Him Best? If you took a test that measured your ability to understand your guy, versus a stranger’s ability to understand him, who do you think would win? You, of course! But that’s not what researchers found. Dr. Kenneth Savitsky of Williams College in Massachusetts conducted three different experiments to look at whether knowing someone well gives you a communication advantage. [1] In each experiment, the answer was no. Knowing someone well—whether it was a close friend or a spouse—either didn’t help… Or put you at a  disadvantage . “Some couples may indeed be on the same wavelength, but maybe not as much as they think,” Savitsky said. “You get rushed an

  Ellie knew what her problem was in dating:  She was too nice. She kept exchanging messages even when she was no longer interested. She said yes every time a man asked her out, because she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. She had long conversations where she listened and nodded and encouraged—only to realize, by the end of the evening, she hadn’t said a single thing about herself. But the thing she wished she could stop the most was this: Trying to make every man like her, even if she didn’t like him back. She couldn’t help it. She felt like she had to. It was  his  job to contact her and start a conversation. It was  her  job to reply in a way that made him smile and feel good about himself. If she didn’t reply, or she told him she wasn’t interested, he’d feel bad about himself, and that’s the last thing Ellie wanted. It didn’t matter that she rationally knew she wasn’t responsible for anyone else’s feelings. She  felt  responsible, and that’s what mattered. She’d read about how wom

The benefits of being able to read body language are obvious: You know if he’s interested even if he’s not saying a word. You know if he’s NOT interested before wasting your time. And you probably already know these 5 basic signs to look for. Is his body facing you? Are his feet pointed towards you? Is he making eye contact with you, with a quick lift of the eyebrows? Is his body language open as opposed to closed? Is he grooming himself (running a hand through his hair, smoothing down his shirt)? Then he’s definitely feeling a connection. But those aren’t the only body language signals that you should be paying attention to. Here are 5 more body language signs that many people miss. Sign #1. Palms exposed If a man is interested in you, he doesn’t want to scare you off. He wants to convey to you that he doesn’t mean any harm and that he’s not a dangerous person. The way he does this is through showing you the palms of his hands. When our ancestors saw a stranger approaching, the first

  When you’ve shared a special connection with someone, it’s hard to let it go. Especially when you know there’s still a lot of potential if he would  just open his heart again. You could build a beautiful life together. If that’s something you want, then it’s only natural you would try to convince him that he should give the relationship another shot. After all, convincing him  feels  like the right thing to do. Why would you  not  try to reason with him? Why wouldn’t you try to show him he’s making a mistake by pulling away? Yet this is one of those times in life when our instincts lead us awry. Because convincing your ex never works. Fortunately, I know something that does. Triggering feelings. Here’s the thing, triggering feelings will always trump logical argument. Why? Because emotions run the show. We humans are not as rational as we’d like to believe. That’s true of all forms of decision-making, but especially when it comes to matters of the heart. (By the way, If you’d like l