Of course you’re burned out. You’re burned out from wasting so much time pursuing promising guys only for them to turn out to be jerks. Or ghost on you. You’re burned out from pretending to be perfect because men can’t handle the real you. You’re burned out from being responsible for everything from how he feels to keeping the conversation flowing to making sure he’ll want to see you again. And you’re getting NOTHING in return. Not even a damn bunch of flowers. Dating burnout is real. And it’s worse for women than it is for men. Why Women are Burned Out Emily and Amelia Nagoski want us to talk about burnout. Why we’re burned out. How modern society is stacked against us. And what we can do to stop piling on the stress. Dr. Emily Nagoski is a sex educator whose first book Come as You Are is a classic in the science of sex. Her sister Amelia is a conductor and assistant professor of music at Western New England University. They’ve both got busy, stressful lives. But it wasn’t un...

Imagine taking a magnifying glass and holding it up to a man’s head on a first date. Except this is no ordinary magnifying glass… It’s one that allows you to see everything that’s going through his mind. What might you discover? Portland dating coach Eric Leonhard knows more than most about what’s going through a guy’s head. He coaches men (and women!) who are looking for long-term relationships. Through online dating profile reviews and mock dates, he finds out exactly what’s going wrong and how to fix it. In a YBTV interview, Eric shares the struggles men face when it comes to dating. He digs into his own personal database to reveal the top turn-ons and turn-offs from a male point of view. You’ll learn a mindset shift that makes first dates fun, and you’ll be surprised by what he thinks is the key to being attractive to men (hint: it’s not your appearance!). What You’ll Learn It takes some pushing, but Portland dating coach Eric Leonhard admits that his male clients need a littl...

Y ou pick out an amazing, expensive little keychain that comes with 32 features including its own panic button and tell yourself it’s the perfect gift. Of course, it’s not. The man who has everything has probably seen the super keychain before and decided not to buy it since he would never use it in a million years. It’s never easy finding gifts for the man who has everything, since the man who has everything has, well, everything. You know the type, professional job, nice car, good family, a few hobbies; probably an all-around good fellow, but not very easy to buy gifts for. The biggest problem is that if he really wants something he’ll probably just go out and buy it himself. Therefore, anything he really wants he probably already has, and just about everything that he doesn’t have he probably doesn’t want very badly. This puts you, the gift-giver, in a pretty sticky situation. “Well, I have to get him something,” you rationalize. You walk into a store, maybe even The Sharper Image w...

Let’s talk about some guys, shall we? How about the guy who only has time for you once in a while, because his schedule is so packed, and he loves you tons but he doesn’t want to feel crowded, you know? Or the guy who isn’t sure how things stand because he’s got this ex girlfriend and she was the love of his life and he’s not sure if he can open his heart again, you know? Or the guy who’s great in bed but always too busy in the daytime to hang out and do anything like take you out for dinner or even talk? These guys! What ARE they thinking? You’re Doing Everything… When you really care about a guy, and you see the best in him, you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. Even if it means not seeing as much of him as you’d like. Even if it means biting your tongue and being patient. You’re trying to be a great girlfriend. You’re supportive. You’re compromising. All of those skills make you an amazing partner. But… They don’t bring you the perf...

You’re driving down the street. Listening to music, drifting with your thoughts. It’s a leafy residential area with cars parked on either side. There’s not much room to drive. You spot a car coming towards you in the other lane. You keep an eye on it as it approaches. Plenty of room, you think. You see the man inside raise his hand. That’s nice—he’s waving. You wave back. Just then, your cars pass each other, and you hear him shouting through his open window. “SLOW DOWN!!!” he roars. What’s your instant reaction? 1.You immediately check your speedometer to make sure you’re driving the right speed. (You are.) 2.You feel confused and hurt. 3.You feel a sudden shock of shame, like you’ve been caught doing something wrong. 4.You shout something back at him, but his car is long gone. Hold onto your answer. For now, I want you to imagine that you keep on driving. There’s somewhere you have to be. Ten minutes pass. The radio is still playing. You’re still navigating through light traffic...

Let’s talk about the woman your man used to be with. His ex.  Even though they’re not together anymore, she feels like competition. Like (no matter what he says) he might still have some residual feelings of attraction towards her. It doesn’t help that a 2012 study found that just under half of young adults had gotten back together with an ex … and just over half reported sleeping with an ex even after they broke up. [1] So there’s some truth to the idea that exes can be competition. But that doesn’t make his ex the enemy. Rather, she’s someone who can help you. She’s already given you an amazing gift, one you may have missed: She’s shown you your guy’s weak spots. The way their relationship ended gives you valuable insights into how you can lay an even stronger foundation this time around, ensuring that no matter what happens, you’ll have a good sense of what works with him and what doesn’t. So how can you find the gift she left you, especially when just thinking about her feels u...

A relationship is a HUGE investment of time and energy. And you’re investing your heart. Why would you give your heart to someone who just wants to play around? Sometimes, it’s easy to tell who the timewasters are. They’re the guys who admit they’re not looking for anything serious. But other times, the timewaster is a guy you REALLY care about. You really enjoy being with him. He really enjoys being with you. You’ve been together for a while. You like all the same things. You get along great. But he just won’t take that next step. He won’t call you his girlfriend. He won’t spend more time with you. He won’t talk about the future. Is he wasting your time? Or does he just need a very big nudge? Stealing Time When someone wastes your time, it makes you mad. They’re taking something from you that you can never get back. We’re all here on earth for a limited time. Time is our most precious resource. When you’re ready to get married and settle down, you don’t want anyone ...

Half the problem on a date is keeping the conversation flowing.  Unfortunately, most of the time that’s up to you. How many times have you found yourself carrying the entire conversation while the guy you’re with sits across from you, sips his drink, and nods every so often? You wonder what would happen if you refused to play the game and did exactly what HE did: sat back, relaxed, and waited for him to pick up his end of the conversation. Well, with the right questions, you can! You can turn the conversation over to him and let him do his fair share of the work. With a handful of interesting questions to ask a guy, you won’t find yourself wearing out your voice in a nonstop monologue. He’ll be responsible for filling the silence. So what questions should you ask? It all depends on what you want to achieve. Best Question to Find Out What He Does You’re on a date to have fun, not talk about work. But if you’re curious about what he does and you don’t want to ask the obvious question...

Do you remember that time you were dating a guy and everything was just perfect? Of course you don’t. That kind of relationship doesn’t exist. Relationships involve people, and none of us are perfect ! And yet, I talk to a lot of women who think romantic perfection is out there. They’re on the prowl for it, serious about finding a guy who lines up completely with their dream, their wish list. That creates a problem. As human beings, we tend to see what we hope to see. Think about the classic example of a good girl dating a world-class jerk. He doesn’t listen to her. When he’s around her, he talks down to her and tells her what to do. If she doesn’t appease him, he pitches a fit. He won’t let her maintain connection with her friends, and even when she’s happy there’s a trace of sadness. But she defends him. She says things like, “He’s really sweet when it’s just us. Really. I see this whole other side of him.” Right . . . That’s an extreme example, but it illustrates a mistake a lot of ...