Advise from Relationship Coach James Bauer[1] "Natalia came into my office distraught. It was her boyfriend again. Nothing she said to him made a bit of difference. He was driving her crazy. I nodded as she listed off her complaints. He never listened to her. He never thought about her needs. He didn’t care about her. She was so sick and tired of him. She felt like she was going to explode. “James! This is why I come to you,” she said. “Tell me how to make him change.” She stared at me expectantly. Can’t You Change Him? I would estimate that 90% of the women who come to me want to make a man change. They want him to be different. They want him to love them. They want him to be the man they’ve always dreamed of. Instead they’re stuck with a man who lets them down, over and over again. My office is a safe space to talk about the frustration, disappointment, and despair of loving a man who doesn’t treat you the way you need him to. Explaining your feelings gives you a chance to hear ...

Your guy has been acting strangely lately. He seems distracted. He’s not as affectionate. He doesn’t seem to want to spend as much time together. You worry that his feelings for you are cooling. If that’s the case, you need to act fast to save your relationship. How do you find out what’s really going on inside his head? Do you: Decode his body language.  Pay particular attention to cues that suggest he’s lying when he says he loves you. Trust your intuition.  You know him better than anyone. If your gut says that your relationship is in trouble, then it’s in trouble. Get a second opinion.  Tell your girlfriends what’s going on and get their take. Even better, talk to one of his guy friends and ask if he’s said anything to them. Ask him.  Tell him that you notice he’s been distracted and ask why. Only one of these options delivers reliable results each and every time. Let’s find out which one it is! Body Language Body language guides are incredibly popular. Pay atten...

Advise from Relationship coach [1] You   finally   meet someone you like… And he pressures you to do something you don’t want to do. You’re convinced he’ll lose interest in you if you don’t do it. It’s been so hard to find someone you actually like, who returns your interest… That you go ahead with what he wants. You want this relationship to have a chance, after all. At first, it seems to work. He seems very happy. But you feel uncomfortable. This isn’t what you wanted. You’re on unfamiliar ground. You feel off balance. Meanwhile, he’s quite confident. You agreed to play by his rules. He knows you’ll go along with him, because you want this relationship so much you won’t say no. When you’ve given your power away… It’s very, very hard to get it back again. Until now… Is This Just How It Is Nowadays? I hear some version of this story from so many of women who read my blog or write in about their relationship concerns in our private forum. They meet someone they really like. The...

Look, I get it. As a man who helps women achieve happier romantic outcomes with guys, I know it sometimes seems like men are from another planet. You don’t know why guys do the things they do. They don’t make sense. But men were born on the same planet as everyone else. Men also want to feel loved. They want to feel special. They want to belong. But the lessons they learned growing up taught them that they have to go about getting those good things in a different way. Knowing how men go about getting what they want—even if it’s not how you would do it—can help you understand some of a guy’s strange behaviors. Why does he make a joke right when you’re trying to share something emotional? Why does he have to win at everything? Why does he buy new gadgets when his old ones work just fine? Because he’s pursuing 3 male values… Values you have to understand if you want to understand men. What It Means to Be a Man When was the last time someone put pressure on you to “be a woman”? For many wo...