Perhaps you’ve been with a guy like this. He wants to spend time with you—sometimes. He says how much he loves you—sometimes. He makes future plans with you—sometimes. Other times, he isn’t there at all. He doesn’t call. He doesn’t text. He drops off the face of the planet. You get the feeling that he only wants to be with you when  he  feels like it… Not when you need him. The diagnosis? Your guy might be suffering from a lack of attachment. What Is Attachment? Attachment is a key component of lasting love. Compared to passion and intimacy, attachment takes time to build. You can feel instant attraction towards someone. It might take you a little longer before you feel safe sharing your deepest self with him. But it will take you some time before you feel  attached  to this person. Attachment has a very specific scientific meaning. The  attachment system  in the brain was designed to keep children and their caretakers close. Young children wouldn’t survive unless they had an innate dr

You’ve been dating a guy for a few months when he shows up at your door with a small silver bag. After kissing you hello, he hands it to you and closely watches your face. You reach into the bag and find a slim black box nestled in the tissue paper. You open it… And gape at the diamond tennis bracelet. “Let me put it on you,” he says eagerly. As he fastens it around your wrist, you feel uncomfortable. You dread to think how much it cost. But he seems overjoyed. He admires the way the bracelet sparkles on your wrist. You feel like an exchange has happened, but you’re not sure what you’ve just agreed to. The Gift of Love When you’re in love with someone, you want to give generously. You want to show them how much you adore them. How could there be anything wrong with a gift that comes from the heart? One of the most precious gifts of all are those three words: “I love you.” As soon as you know you’re in love, you want to sing it from the rooftops. “I’m in love! I’m in love! I’m in love!”