"I have read the entire program. Last night I decided I had nothing to lose and texted him the 12-word magic text. He replied this morning apologizing for missing my text last night. I replied using “Rachel’s” template. It was almost the exact word for word exchange." "I was completely stunned! We finally connected this evening and talked for 40 minutes on the phone. He didn’t declare his love for me but we haven’t spoken since the night we broke up in March! He sounded relaxed and happy. I have no idea what will happen from here but it’s definitely a “foot in the door ". "I’m truly grateful for your program. It makes so much sense! Thank you!!" Cathy(Customer) What is His Secret Obsession (James Bauer? His Secret Obsession by James Bauer [1] is an eBook written specially for women. It includes a large amount of useful information to help women understand and enter a man’s mind. It will make your relationship stronger, more resilient and more passionate. ...

Relationships thrive on selflessness. They require sacrifice, compromise, and putting each other first. We know this deep in our bones, and yet… Have you ever noticed lopsided relationships, where it seems like one person is doing all the giving and the other person is doing all the taking? One’s a saint; the other is selfish. It seems like the answer would be to have a stern talk with the person who’s being selfish. He needs to think of others besides himself for once. He needs to see how much his partner is doing for him. He needs to start pitching in. But I have an unusual suggestion: Maybe the person who’s always selfless should start being selfish once in a while. As she learns to be more selfish, their relationship ends up balancing itself out and becomes better than ever. How in the world does that work? Let me guess. You want to know because you’ve been the one doing all the giving. You know what it’s like to feel taken advantage of. You don’t want a repeat. You might thi...

The world can undoubtedly seem like a cruel and hostile place sometimes, but we must not dwell on that. A positive world begins with us – wherever we are in the moment. Be Kind Whenever Possible. It is Always Possible – Dalai Lama This quote is one I try to live by. The more we focus on the negative and mean aspects of the world, the more we expand that energy with our focus. It is much more productive to feed the energy of positivity and kindness, starting with our own lives. That doesn’t mean ignoring injustice or pretending that things are fine in the world when they are not. It means we find solutions and productive ways to live, be, and resolve those injustices within our own lives first. When we do this we avoid getting sucked into feeling hopeless, depressed, and sad about the state of things, and we instead use our energy in a useful and productive way. Directing our thoughts towards positive change, acts of kindness and easy solutions that we can incorporate into our own lives...

Bethany was fed up. Her boyfriend Dan didn’t talk to her anymore. Well, it wasn’t that he didn’t   talk  to her. But they didn’t talk like they used to when they first got together. He didn’t seem interested in her anymore. They’d go out for a meal together, and instead of looking her in the eyes and asking her about her day, he’d lean back, fiddle with his phone, and concentrate on wolfing down his meal. They sat in silence so much of the time that she felt lonely even when they were together. How were they going to last if they couldn’t even carry on a conversation? Even worse, he made hurtful comments. He’d toss off a sarcastic joke about her lateness or her driving or her cooking. He didn’t seem to understand why she felt offended. She felt more and more upset. They were so disconnected. Was this the beginning of the end? Do Men and Women Speak Different Languages? If you gaze around at a popular sports bar or brewpub on a Saturday night, you’ll see groups of men and group...

Have you ever tried to make an impression by pretending to be something you’re not? That’s not really a fair question, is it? I mean, everyone has done that at some point. Guy or girl, everyone one of us has tried to get the attention of someone we’re attracted to by presenting them with a very specific picture of who we are. And most of us have made the mistake of taking it too far. You know what happens then. Either you pull it off and he thinks you’re a huge sports fan, for example—and then you have to lean into that white lie for weeks or even months. Or you say something that gives you away, and he sees through the act. Pretending to be someone you’re not is uncomfortable, exhausting, and possibly embarrassing. The tough thing about this issue is that there’s a very fine line. It’s totally okay to pitch yourself a certain way to guys—as long as your pitch is fundamentally true. If it lines up with who you really are, then it’s not really a pitch at all. For example, Dove’s “Real ...

“Does he like me?” Can you remember the first time you asked yourself that question? You were just a girl the first time you cared about what a boy thought of you. The answer to that question mattered profoundly. If he liked you, your heart leapt with joy. If you weren’t sure, you schemed up ways to bring yourself to his attention. Now you’re an adult. But that question hasn’t lost any of its power. You still wonder whether a certain man likes you. You wonder how you could bring yourself to his attention. You wonder if he’ll ever think of you in that way. Now researchers know that the way you think about questions like that can actually determine how successful you are at dating. Putting yourself out there for rejection is stressful. It’s also the only way you’re ever going to meet someone. The more comfortable you get with putting yourself out there, the more you do it. And the more you do it, the more men you meet, increasing your chances of finding someone special. You...

Have you ever dated someone who never got off the couch? You knew he had amazing potential, but he never did anything with it. Trying to motivate him was a waste of time. Or maybe you’ve dated the opposite: Someone whose time was scheduled down to the minute. He never did anything spontaneously; it all had to be planned in advance. He was amazingly productive but an imperfect boyfriend. He had too many other priorities. Gretchin Rubin noticed these patterns when she was writing her 2015 bestseller,  Better Than Before.  She was examining why we find it so hard to establish desired habits and break bad ones. She found that some people are really disciplined. They’re good at living up to expectations. It’s a point of honor to them. You don’t let anyone down. These people were also really good at structuring their own time. They set their own goals and worked hard to meet them. But then there were people who could not follow the rules. They thought discipline and habits were for ...

You are so angry at him, you can’t think straight.  You don’t even want him around. If he says one more thing, you might just blow your top. So you take a breather and consider what you’re going to do next. Are you going to give him what he so richly deserves? Are you going to let it go? Are you going to try to talk about it, knowing it could blow up into an even bigger fight than before? Before we look at the answer, I want to introduce you to some people. Meet Arianna and Caitlyn, two women incredibly frustrated with the men in their lives… Arianna: “Getting Angry is Part of Life.” Arianna’s parents were always fighting. They yelled at each other. Sometimes, they threw things. But Arianna knew they’d make up. Neither of them could stay mad at each other for long. When she started dating, she didn’t think twice about raising her voice when she was frustrated. You shouldn’t have to hide your emotions around people you were intimate with. But then she started seeing someon...

I grew up thinking I knew what love is.  Love is saying, “I love you.” It’s hearts and candy and Hallmark greeting cards. When I imagined myself having a boyfriend , I imagined holding hands and kissing and sitting together at lunch and sharing secrets. If a boy did all those things, then it meant he loved you. I’ve seen marriages fail. I’ve seen the pain relationships cause. I’ve seen how abuse and trauma get passed through generations. And I figured out that love—REAL love, the kind that lasts—looks nothing like hearts and roses. We confuse love with romance and chemistry.  But that’s just limerence. It’s a promise; it’s not the thing itself. Love is actually a SKILL. And it’s not an easy skill. It’s HARD. Anyone can say, “I love you.” But not everyone knows HOW to love. That’s why I believe one of the first things you need to do, when you meet someone new, is find out whether he knows how to love . It doesn’t matter if he’s a great catch or tons of fun,...