Skip to main content

3 Online Dating Traps to Avoid

When you see a guy’s profile, you instantly know whether he’s a catch. You just get a FEELING about him.


You look at his picture. You read between the lines of his profile. You imagine him in your head.

Then you start writing back and forth to each other…

And you KNOW.

This guy is different.

This guy is special.

This guy might be the one.

That’s the promise that hooks people on online dating.

It’s that feeling of magic, anticipation, possibility.

Why, then, do things so often go horribly wrong?

The Hype and the Reality of Online Dating

The ads make it look so easy.

A match pops up on your phone.

Next thing you know, you’re strolling through the park with this cute guy who makes you laugh.

Cut forward to holding hands … kissing … a diamond ring in a velvet box … confetti as you walk down the aisle to the cheers of friends and family.

That’s how it’s supposed to work, right?

Except that’s not how most people experience it.

Nearly half of American online daters find that online dating makes them feel more frustrated than hopeful.

They describe their experiences with online dating as somewhat or very negative. They find that people tend to lie online. They don’t like how superficial it is. They don’t receive enough messages from people they’re interested in. And they receive too many lewd or inappropriate messages.

Why does online dating fail to live up to the hype?

And what can we do differently?

Online Dating Trap #1.
The Power of a Profile

In real life, first impressions are instinctive.

You look at a person, and in less than a second you have a strong sense of whether they’re likable, trustworthy, or attractive.

In general, those first impressions tend to be valid.

But not online.

Online, first impressions are wrong more often than not.

That’s because you’re not able to see the real person.

All you see is a carefully chosen picture or a paragraph of carefully worded text.

Because our brains love to fill in gaps in information, you end up making assumptions about this person based on the little you know.

You build him up inside your head. You get excited about the man you expect him to be…

Only to meet him and realize that he’s nothing like that at all.

TIP: Don’t let your imagination run away from you. Online, he could be anyone. Wait until you meet—virtually or in person—before you make any decisions about him.

Online Dating Trap #2.
Digital Flirting

It’s fun to flirt online.

There’s something freeing and thrilling about flirting with a man you haven’t even met yet.

He doesn’t know you. All he knows of what you look like is your picture.

To him, you are this fantasy woman.

And the messages you exchange are getting hotter and hotter.

Yet communicating too much online before meeting may actually HURT your chances of connecting in person.

As you get to know each other through messages and texts, you can feel less inclined to take the conversation offline.

After all, you feel like you already know each other. It’s so enjoyable to get his messages. Why ask him to meet up and risk him turning you down—or, worse yet, finding out that he’s a creep in person?

TIP: Remember that “online dating” is a misnomer. You’re not dating online. You’re meeting online. It’s not a date until you see each other face to face, whether that’s in person or on camera.

Online Dating Trap #3.
Too Many Options

It’s great to have options.

The more the better!

Except when you have to make a decision.

Having too many choices paralyzes us.

When we finally manage to choose, we’re less confident that we made the right pick.

That’s why so many women complain that the men they meet online are “flaky.”

These guys won’t commit to seeing anyone regularly, because they’re keeping their options open.

It’s more exciting to think about someone new, who you haven’t met yet, who might be the partner of your dreams, than to keep seeing someone who’s human and complex and imperfect and may possibly have needs.

If a guy refuses to nail down a date to see you again, don’t waste your time trying to convince him. Jump back in the dating pool. Set your sights on meeting someone who shares your values and is ready for love.

And if you meet a guy like that, don’t write him off just because he’s not a 10/10 on the first date. The sparks might not be there at first. There may be some awkward moments.

But if you’re willing, and he’s willing, keep getting to know each other. Put in the time. Don’t expect love to look like fireworks. It more often looks like a small green bud, hopeful and full of promise.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Secret to Instant Sex Appeal

Would you rather  look  sexier or  feel   sexier?  What if you could have BOTH? You can. And no matter if you’re currently single or happily dating, the effect on your love life can be profoundly positive. There are many ways to feel sexier.  But one of the simplest ways is the tried and true cosmetic, lipstick. Psychologists have known about the “lipstick effect” for a while. The term was coined after the Great Depression when cosmetic sales soared despite limited financial resources. [1]  It was later confirmed as a legitimate trend. But not without some backlash. A few years ago, a group of researchers argued that women only try to make themselves more attractive to secure a mate.  [2]  The theory was understandable unsettling, as it suggested women will do whatever’s necessary just to find a man. But a recent study has revealed something new. A team of Harvard researchers found that women actually perform cognitive tasks  better...
Post a Comment
Read more

12 words that trigger a man’s love response - secret signal

If your man is hot or cold, acting distant or putting you last on the priority list then you will definitely want to see this. Did you know there’s a 12 word sentence you can say to your man... that will trigger intense feelings of love and instinctual attraction for you deep within his chest? Because hidden in these 12 words is a “secret signal” that fuels a man’s instinct to love, please and protect you with all his heart... >> 12 Words That Trigger A Man’s Love Response   " I've realized I won't be happy without you in my life" This instinct is so hardwired into a man’s genetics that it will drive him to work harder than ever before to make your relationship the best part of both of your lives. In fact, triggering this powerful instinct is so important to having the best possible relationship with your man that once you send your man one of these “Secret Signals”... ...You’ll immediately notice him open his mind and heart to you in a way...
1 comment
Read more

The Cupid Effect - Men Commit When They Feel This

If you're in a relationship with a man who won't commit or is drifting away, then please help thank today's sponsor, Carlos Cavallo by taking a look at his presentation. Hi, My name is Carlos. If you've ever wondered why men pull away just when things are going great... Why he grows cold and distant... Why he starts blaming you and becoming defensive... If you're tired of his excuses about why he isn't there for you... If you're currently in a relationship where your man is pulling away or distant... If you want to know how to go from casual - to something intimate and special... OR - if you're looking to find a relationship  right now Read this report to the very end... If You're A Woman Over The Age Of 30, This Could Be The Most Important Information You Ever See... And in the next 2 minutes, I'm going to reveal recent discovery about men's emotions... It's a  POWERFUL  command hidden in every man's DNA that he ...
Post a Comment
Read more