Skip to main content

The ‘Kiss Test’ That Makes Men Behave Inappropriately


You’re on a date with someone you met through an online dating site.

You picked him carefully, because you have standards. You don’t go out with anyone who doesn’t look nice or doesn’t treat you with respect.

It’s a half-hour into the date, and you’re starting to relax. You’re laughing a little. The awkward phase is over. You’re starting to open up to each other.

Then he does it.

That thing men do.

That thing that makes you pull back and feel awkward all over again.

He leans forward…

And touches your leg.

He’s not trying to grab you. But it kind of feels like it.

He’s pretending he’s just patting you on the thigh to emphasize a point. Like you’d touch someone on the shoulder to get their attention.

But his touch feels awkward, a bit too high on your thigh, almost like he’s trying to feel you up.

Just like that, your trust for him evaporates. It’s three o’clock in the afternoon, for goodness sake! You’re not rubbing up against each other in some bar.

He sees you flinch back. He withdraws his hand quickly. Conversation falters. You shut down.

And just like that, the date is as good as over.

Maybe that’s never happened to you.

These days, many men know to ask permission before they go in for that first hug or kiss. It’s respectful. It gives you the option to say no.

But other men grew up with a different sort of “education.”

One of the most influential (and controversial) seduction teachers for men, David Deangelo, taught a simple “kiss test.”

He recognized that springing a kiss unexpectedly on a woman is a sure-fire way to get a man rejected.

Instead, he taught men to use “simple, innocent” physical contact to test the waters.

Stuff like stroking a woman’s hair…

Or moving closer to her without actually touching.

If she tenses and pulls back, then she’s not ready for a kiss, Deangelo explained. But if she smiles and relaxes into his touch, then he can assume she’s open to exploring their chemistry.

Most men you meet haven’t studied under Deangelo. But they may have heard some version of the kiss test:

Find some pretext to touch a woman and observe her reaction.

But not all men do this well.

Some men slap you on the shoulder, like they’d slap a male friend.

Other men do it sneakily, so fast you almost don’t realize they’ve touched you.

Still other men invite you for a hug, then embrace you too long or too intimately.

When you assume he’s doing it to cop a feel rather than to test your chemistry, your reaction “tells” him everything he needs to know. You’re not into him.

And, of course, you might have been right. His intentions might not have been virtuous.

So how can men and women navigate this mess, without ruining any chance of romance?

I don’t have all the answers. I can’t tell you what is best for you.

But I can give you some suggestions that might help you decide on an effective strategy to break the touch barrier.

  1. Be the one in charge.

When a man feels that all the burden lies on him to make the first move, he can end up acting awkwardly.

Why not relieve him of that burden?

Check in with yourself throughout the date. Do you notice some  feelings of good chemistry? Would you like to explore that?

Once you have your answer, adjust how close you’re sitting to him.

Maybe you haven’t relaxed around him yet. Then it might be best to sit across from him with a table between you.

But maybe you are interested. If so, let him know. Move a little closer to him or lean your body towards him. (You can always test the waters by sitting slightly closer to him than would normally make you comfortable. Notice if he scoots back.)

You can also turn the tables and use your own version of the kiss test on him. Tell him his shirt looks soft and ask him if you can touch it. Touch his hand. Bump your shoulder against his.

The arms, hands, and shoulders are the only appropriate locations to touch someone for the first time. The face, thighs, and hair are too intimate.

  1. Communicate.

Honesty is refreshing. It takes courage, but it’s worth it.

Going back to the scenario at the beginning, where he touched your thigh and you jerked back and his face fell, you might do this…

Stop the conversation and say, “Hey, I noticed what happened there. I didn’t mean to communicate that I don’t like you. It’s just that it takes me a little longer to get comfortable being touched.”

Then see if he’ll talk about it with you.

Talking can’t solve ALL the world’s problems…

But it can certainly help a man and a woman get off on the right foot. 

>> Learn a "secret ingredient" to keeping a man emotionally and romantically addicted to being in love with you.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Secret to Instant Sex Appeal

Would you rather  look  sexier or  feel   sexier?  What if you could have BOTH? You can. And no matter if you’re currently single or happily dating, the effect on your love life can be profoundly positive. There are many ways to feel sexier.  But one of the simplest ways is the tried and true cosmetic, lipstick. Psychologists have known about the “lipstick effect” for a while. The term was coined after the Great Depression when cosmetic sales soared despite limited financial resources. [1]  It was later confirmed as a legitimate trend. But not without some backlash. A few years ago, a group of researchers argued that women only try to make themselves more attractive to secure a mate.  [2]  The theory was understandable unsettling, as it suggested women will do whatever’s necessary just to find a man. But a recent study has revealed something new. A team of Harvard researchers found that women actually perform cognitive tasks  better...
Post a Comment
Read more

12 words that trigger a man’s love response - secret signal

If your man is hot or cold, acting distant or putting you last on the priority list then you will definitely want to see this. Did you know there’s a 12 word sentence you can say to your man... that will trigger intense feelings of love and instinctual attraction for you deep within his chest? Because hidden in these 12 words is a “secret signal” that fuels a man’s instinct to love, please and protect you with all his heart... >> 12 Words That Trigger A Man’s Love Response   " I've realized I won't be happy without you in my life" This instinct is so hardwired into a man’s genetics that it will drive him to work harder than ever before to make your relationship the best part of both of your lives. In fact, triggering this powerful instinct is so important to having the best possible relationship with your man that once you send your man one of these “Secret Signals”... ...You’ll immediately notice him open his mind and heart to you in a way...
1 comment
Read more

The Attraction Trip-Wire that Awakens a Man’s Deepest Longing for Love

Trip Wire: “A hidden trigger that sets off a series of explosive events.” Deep within the heart of every man is an intense longing to be someone’s hero. This longing has ancient origins. You see,the cause of this longing is written into the very fabric of his DNA. And there it lies, dormant… until one day, the right trigger unleashes its power. I’d like to show you how to become that trigger, and how   to awaken the full force your man’s bonding instinct. But first, a story. It’s the story of human connection.  Before we can care deeply about someone, we must know something about their life story. Because stories evoke empathy.  Stories allow us to picture ourselves in someone else’s shoes.  Stories form the foundation of all human connection. They create the sensation of one shared life experience. It’s strange, but true, that we can even find ourselves rooting for thieves and criminals so long as we see their story unfold. Movies like  ...
Post a Comment
Read more