Skip to main content

Social Media Etiquette for Online Dating


Olivia was thrilled when a guy messaged her back on Match.com.

He was the only match she actually liked out of the dozens Match.com kept throwing at her.

She couldn’t figure out how their algorithm thought she’d like these guys with their bushy beards, serial-killer scowls, haughty smiles, or bare chests.

She just wanted to see someone who looked nice. Like he didn’t have a chip on his shoulder or an unsavory agenda.

So when this match came up—let’s call him Jack—Olivia felt a wave of relief. Look! A guy actually smiling at the camera in a normal, friendly way.

She noticed that his photo had been done by a photographer, but she didn’t care. She thought it showed professionalism. 

Reading his profile, she noticed the same attention to detail. This guy was cute, literate, entertaining, and—hooray!—grammatically correct.

So when a message from him popped up on her screen, she already knew they’d be great together.


They exchanged emails and started chatting. He told her what he did for a living and sent a link to his company website so she could verify his identity. She appreciated that. A man who made sure she felt safe—a true gentleman!

They arranged a date for the following weekend.

One morning, she logged into her social media account when a notification popped up. Jack had asked to be added as a friend.

Hmm. Her brow furrowed. She hadn’t given him her social media details. He must have done a search for her name.

She didn’t like the idea that he’d get his first impression of her from social media rather than a face-to-face meeting, but she supposed she could add him. Maybe he wanted to check her out, too.

When the big day arrived, Olivia was excited. She bounced into the restaurant where Jack was waiting. He stood up to greet her. He seemed polite but reserved.

He must be nervous, she thought. Surely he’d chill out when he realized she wasn’t going to bite his head off.

As the evening wore on, it became clear that Jack wasn’t the winner she hoped he’d be. He was a nice guy, to be sure, but they had very different views and lifestyles.

Olivia woke up the next morning feeling sad but resigned. There wasn’t going to be another date.

As she logged into her social media account, she realized she had a different problem. What was she going to do about the fact that she’d friended him? Wouldn’t it be rude to delete him?

Dating and social media are a minefield.


Should you friend someone you’ve never met in person?

Should you get the social media details of the guys you meet online, so you can check them out in advance?

Is it appropriate to like or comment on his posts if you haven’t even met each other yet?

Tricky questions.

Luckily, we now have some answers.

Match.com’s annual “Singles in America” survey asked 5000 singles about appropriate social media etiquette, and this is what they found.[1]

  1. Don’t move the conversation to social media until you’ve passed the first date test.

Even though it may not be as convenient, don’t go off the online dating site/app until you’ve met in person. Save the direct messages for once you know you’ll be seeing more of each other.

  1. You can check him out on social media, as long as you don’t leave a trace.

Of course you’re going to want to see what kind of person he is before meeting him. So go ahead, do a search for his name. Check out his social media. Just don’t leave any likes or comments.

  1. Don’t submit a friend request before you’ve met.

Nearly 80% of singles don’t think it’s appropriate to friend someone on Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat before the first date. Why? Well, it’s hard to disappear from someone’s life if you’ve already let them in the front door.

  1. Save couple photos for when you’re really a couple.

So you had a great first date and took a super-cute selfie of the two of you hanging out. Should you post it on social media and tag him? 40% of singles say “nope!” Wait until you’re really seeing each other before posting couple pics. Even better, ask him if he minds you posting it.

  1. Don’t go official on social media until you’ve had The Talk.

You’re not a couple if you’ve just been on a few dates together. Wait to make it “Facebook official” until you’ve discussed going public with your relationship. And that includes changing your profile pic to a couple pic or changing your relationship status.

Not everybody has the same feelings about sharing their love life with the world. That’s why it’s best to keep your budding connection off social media until you both agree it’s time.

[1] http://match.mediaroom.com/2018-02-01-Singles-in-America-Match-Releases-Largest-Study-on-U-S-Single-Population-for-Eighth-Year

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Secret to Instant Sex Appeal

Would you rather  look  sexier or  feel   sexier?  What if you could have BOTH? You can. And no matter if you’re currently single or happily dating, the effect on your love life can be profoundly positive. There are many ways to feel sexier.  But one of the simplest ways is the tried and true cosmetic, lipstick. Psychologists have known about the “lipstick effect” for a while. The term was coined after the Great Depression when cosmetic sales soared despite limited financial resources. [1]  It was later confirmed as a legitimate trend. But not without some backlash. A few years ago, a group of researchers argued that women only try to make themselves more attractive to secure a mate.  [2]  The theory was understandable unsettling, as it suggested women will do whatever’s necessary just to find a man. But a recent study has revealed something new. A team of Harvard researchers found that women actually perform cognitive tasks  better...
Post a Comment
Read more

12 words that trigger a man’s love response - secret signal

If your man is hot or cold, acting distant or putting you last on the priority list then you will definitely want to see this. Did you know there’s a 12 word sentence you can say to your man... that will trigger intense feelings of love and instinctual attraction for you deep within his chest? Because hidden in these 12 words is a “secret signal” that fuels a man’s instinct to love, please and protect you with all his heart... >> 12 Words That Trigger A Man’s Love Response   " I've realized I won't be happy without you in my life" This instinct is so hardwired into a man’s genetics that it will drive him to work harder than ever before to make your relationship the best part of both of your lives. In fact, triggering this powerful instinct is so important to having the best possible relationship with your man that once you send your man one of these “Secret Signals”... ...You’ll immediately notice him open his mind and heart to you in a way...
1 comment
Read more

The Attraction Trip-Wire that Awakens a Man’s Deepest Longing for Love

Trip Wire: “A hidden trigger that sets off a series of explosive events.” Deep within the heart of every man is an intense longing to be someone’s hero. This longing has ancient origins. You see,the cause of this longing is written into the very fabric of his DNA. And there it lies, dormant… until one day, the right trigger unleashes its power. I’d like to show you how to become that trigger, and how   to awaken the full force your man’s bonding instinct. But first, a story. It’s the story of human connection.  Before we can care deeply about someone, we must know something about their life story. Because stories evoke empathy.  Stories allow us to picture ourselves in someone else’s shoes.  Stories form the foundation of all human connection. They create the sensation of one shared life experience. It’s strange, but true, that we can even find ourselves rooting for thieves and criminals so long as we see their story unfold. Movies like  ...
Post a Comment
Read more