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Relationship Commitment Fears


We all desire to be in happy committed relationships but the reality is that very few of us manage this feat. 

Many of us are in committed relationships that are less than happy while others are in happy relationships where there is a commitment phobia.

For those who want commitment but it has been elusive; what is the problem?

What relationship commitment fears keep us or our partners away from a committed happy-ever-after?


1. Fear of failure.
None of us want to fail but relationship failure is the most personal and painful failure that there is and who doesn't want to avoid pain? 

This fear may be made worse by past relationship failures. If your partner or a close friend of theirs has had a particularly bad relationship break up then their commitment fear will be greatly magnified as they will be afraid of reliving this easily remembered pain and sorrow. 

If your partner is not particularly successful in other areas of their life than they may feel that their poor performance will follow them into the relationship and this fear will be magnified. 

This relationship commitment fear is not about you but you can help your partner over this hurdle by not pushing them as the more you push the greater the fear looms in their mind. 

Let them know clearly and honestly what you want at this time, how long you will give them to decide if they can give you this and then give them space to decide what they are willing to give to you. Don't threaten or cajole just be honest and clear.

2. Fear of being alone.
Your partner's close friends may still be out partying and sowing their wild oats and your partner may be afraid to lose these friends. 



This will be a problem if your partner is young or if the friends they have are young or just carefree. 

Your partner is simply afraid to be alone and isolated from the friends that they hang out with. Your partner's relationship commitment fear is based on their existing relationships which they don't want to lose.

They may truly care for you but they also really care about their friends and the two loves seem incompatible. You must find a way to bridge this gap. Do not under any circumstances demonize their friends as you will make the gap even wider.

3. Fear of criticism. 
Your partner's friends or family or colleagues may not approve of your relationship or its depth and they may have made this abundantly clear to your partner who is now afraid of the criticism that would follow a commitment to you.

The temptation will be to ask them to get a backbone and style up. Resist that temptation!

Instead become your partner's greatest cheerleader and build up their confidence in their decision making capabilities.

When they make an okay decision...cheer...you want them to get to the point where they instinctively want to make you happy over all other people even their relatives..



4. Fear that this is not THE relationship. 
You partner may be afraid to waste their time, energy and resources on a relationship that will not be the ultimate relationship.

They may feel that they will waste their life pursuing this relationship as it may not work out. 

Do not criticize your partner even though you can't believe any sane person can think like this. Be good to them and let them see all you great qualities. 

Do not pretend to be someone or something that you are not but let them realize what a great person they will be losing if they don't commit to you.

As you can see most relationship commitments fears are about your partner and not about you. 

It's not because they don't love you it's because they are afraid so don't berate them or push them as that just makes the fear worse. 

You need to find ways to help them minimize their different fears.

However if you don't know which relationship commitment fear plagues your partner then I would strongly recommend to visit His Secret Obsession's.

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