Understanding Commitment in Relationships

Relationships are sacred encounters that allow us to stretch our spiritual experiences on earth. 

There are few times when our egos are so prevalent these days, when society puts pressure on all of us to conform to what we believe defines a relationship. 

There's a whole range of `signs' that have emerged over time to show that two people are committed to each other. 

These include the big sign of marriage and smaller ones, such as introducing one another to parents and family, spending holidays together, moving in together, buying a property together, and so on.

NONE of these things define a relationship or the level of commitment. They are what we've been brought up to believe show commitment to another person.

Nothing could be further from the truth because a fully committed relationship is built on one thing only and that is love. 

A truly spiritual relationship is built on unconditional love, which is an even deeper union of not only the body and mind but also the soul.

Unconditional love is the only true commitment. The willingness to share a part of your life with another person, another soul, and to let them be who they choose to be is commitment. It's agreeing to mutual learning and understanding.

There are many animals who stay together for years. They don't own a property, they don't turn up in church and declare vows. 

They are together because they choose to experience together, because of the one universal love that combines everything on this planet.

If you feel that you are not getting the commitment from your partner that you are seeking, then ask yourself what this feeling of lack really is. 

Is it that you want to declare that you belong together to the rest of the world? Is it that you feel only this form of commitment (whatever this is, marriage, etc.) is the next step to express your love for the other person, is it a feeling of `it's time - society expects me to be married? (Replace the word `society' with parents, friends, etc.) 

Or is it because you feel you are not being loved in the same way that you love the other person? Is it because your sixth sense is telling you that something is out of balance between you two?

Becoming bonded with another soul is really an experience that can be found in other ways than the traditional marriage, or whatever commitment you're seeking.

You don't need a ring or party to mark this. People around will know that you belong together just be feeling the energy between you. And you don't need to proof your love to anyone outside of your relationship - ever.

However, if you feel that you're not being loved in the way you expect and deserve from the other person, then you need make a decision for yourself whether you want to continue to stay in this relationship or not. You deserve to be loved unconditionally.

And this love is a deep unconditional love that goes beyond who carries out the rubbish and does the shopping, and pays the bills, etc. This love is a soul love that is built on respect for each other, for understanding, trust, and friendship.

There are always times when we go through more intense phases of learning in our relationships. 

When the road feels rocky and we have to go deep within to find our truth, express it, and live it in every moment of our relationship. And when we have to learn to listen to the other person's truth and accept them the way they feel and are. 

When the love you receive always feels rocky, when you're being put down, physically and mentally abused, when you feel `less than' in your relationship and when your inner guidance tells you that this person is not good for you, then you need to get out. 

Don't spend your life hanging on to someone who doesn't reciprocate your love for them at any time. You deserve to be loved and respected and love and respect don't come from commitment through external signs, but they come from your hearts.

If you really want to find out if you already have the commitment to each other that you are looking, answer the following questions for yourself.

Is my relationship committed?

o I can feel the love my partner has for me.

o My partner never puts me down or abuses me verbally or physically.

o I feel a deep connection between us that goes beyond physical attraction.

o I feel completely committed to my partner.

o We can share our truth in good and challenging times.

o I feel happy in my relationship.

o My partner allows me to be who I am. He/she doesn't try to change me into someone I'm not.

o My partner shows love and respect for me. For example, he/she looks after me when I'm not well; he/she keeps his/her promises; he/she show me that he/she loves me through words and gestures.

These questions will help you to understand if your relationship is based on love and commitment.

If you answer these honestly you will get a feeling for how committed you are to one another. 

This is the true feeling of commitment, not a ring or ceremony or other external sign.

Commitment is another word for love and love doesn't need external signs. It just is and you can feel it when it's true and straight from the heart.