The #1 Attitude Men LOVE in Women

An article from Amy Waterman[1]

"What’s the #1 attitude men love in women?

Why listen to a woman like me tell you? 

Surely, if you want to know what men want, you should ask men!

YouTube is full of great guys like Mat Shaffer and Clayton Olson and Mike Goldstein who are sweet and so fun to watch and full of insights into the male mind.

They have one simple goal:

To give you actionable tips that will get you into a relationship with a great guy.

If that happens, their job is done.

I’m more like your big sister or an old friend. I will be SO happy for you when you meet a great guy… but my main concern is YOUR happiness and wellbeing.

And I know that your life won’t suddenly be “complete” once you meet this guy.

Because then you’ve got to make a life together.

You’ve got to balance work and your own dreams and possibly children with the demands of a relationship.

And when push comes to shove, it might turn out that he’s not the best guy for you.

Maybe he’ll buckle under the stress when life gets difficult.

That’s when you need your sisters.

You need women who get what it’s like. You need women who’ll remind you that you are strong and you are brave and you WILL BE LOVED regardless of what happens with men.

Because the end goal was never just to “get the guy.”

The end goal was to create a life you love.

Your value is a constant. It’s the core of who you are.

You are magnificent, and you are worthy of love, and nothing can change that…

Certainly not any one man’s opinion of you.

Ironically, it’s when you place LESS importance on men’s opinions that your success in love skyrockets.

The women who obsess over what men want—how to say the right thing and look the right way and avoid driving him away—live with so much insecurity.

Imagine how it must feel if you believed that ONE mistake could drive a man away.

You’d always be on guard. You’d never be able to relax or be goofy or blurt out what’s in your heart.

I’ve read dating advice that says you should never become complacent. You should always make yourself attractive for him, you should never put on weight, you should always make him feel like a man, and you should never let him know how you feel.

What kind of life is that??

What kind of man can’t cope with a woman who has feelings? What kind of man is scared away by love handles?

Not the kind of man I want for you!

The really GOOD guys don’t want a woman who’s running scared.

If a good guy knew how much his opinion affected how you feel about yourself, it would horrify him.

So maybe it’s time to take a break.

Maybe the good guys don’t WANT women who are constantly running around trying to be “what men want.”

Maybe what the good guys want is a woman who loves herself regardless.

Believe in Your Brilliance

The most important work you can do in this lifetime is the work of believing in your brilliance.

When you cut through all the mess—worrying about things and not feeling good enough and trying to fix yourself—the clouds start to clear, and your beautiful brilliance shines through.

And it’s YOUR brilliance that attracts YOUR guy.

It may not “attract men.” Because average men are attracted to average things.

But YOUR guy—the one YOU are meant to be with—spots your brilliance instantly.

He loves your energy. He loves your quirks. He loves the way you are different from other women.

So stop hiding from him.

Every time you cover up who you are, and you censor yourself, and you make decisions based on “what men want,” you hide from YOUR guy.

Maybe I’m Destined to Be Alone?

But maybe—and I think this is the case for a lot of women—you don’t believe your guy is out there.

You’ve been waiting for SO long.

You’ve met guys you thought were yours… only to find out that they didn’t love you the way you hoped they would.

And instead of dismissing them, you internalized it.

You wondered if you were lovable after all.

Anyone who’s been through a divorce or a bad breakup knows how that feels.

We always see where we fall short. We feel like other people are judging us. We look at our bodies and despair.

If we can’t see our brilliance, how can he see it?

Well…

That’s why I’m here. 

That’s why this site is called Your Brilliance.

It’s why I hope you’ll join my community of #BrilliantBabes.

This is a place for women.

It’s a place for us to be honest with each other.

Life is hard, bad things happen, nothing is fair, and yet here we are.

Trying to be better people. Trying to make it all work. Trying to be happy.

So let’s believe in ourselves. Let’s accept ourselves. Let’s LIKE ourselves.

THEN we can learn all about men and have fun psychoanalyzing them and invite them to be pleasure partners with us.

When you like who you are, you don’t have to waste a moment convincing men to like you.

Do you agree? Do you have a friend who might need to hear this? If so, share the love!

[1]Amy Waterman, M.A., is an international speaker, author, and love expert. Her work has appeared in over a dozen online courses, including The Pleasure Principle, Save My Marriage Today, Connect & Commit, and How to Be Irresistible to Men. With over 15 years of experience in love advice, she knows that the search for love is at the heart of the human experience.