Skip to main content

How to Heal a Broken Heart: 3 Tips

What’s the #1 reason people don’t get into relationships?

You know this…

It’s because they’re worried about getting hurt.

And why are they worried?

Because they’ve been there before.

That first big breakup can scar you for life.

The pain swamps you. You NEVER want to feel this way again.

And yet a life without love isn’t an option.

So what can do you do?

You can learn to trust in your own ability to heal.

Living life to the fullest means you’ll get scraped and bruised. You can either get angry at yourself for allowing yourself to get hurt…

OR you can make it a practice of lovingly tending to those scrapes and bruises…

Knowing they’ll heal and you’ll be back out there enjoying life soon.

Here are 3 emotional wounds you’ll need to tend to after a breakup, and how to do it.



1. Feeling unlovable.

The worst part of a breakup is feeling him withdraw his love from you.

It was once so warm, and now it’s cold.

You’re not his special person anymore. He’s turned his back on you.

And if you end up seeing him with someone else, the pain jabs you like a knife.

Why did he pick her over you?

What does she have that you don’t?

Let’s back up a moment.

Imagine that you are an extraordinary sculptor…

You make these beautiful visions out of clay that come to you in your dreams.

One day, you enter a competition.

You’re so excited. You know your work is good.

And then…

You don’t even place.

Immediately, you’re struck with self-doubt.

Are you as good as you thought you were?

Is everyone else really so much better than you?

Maybe you should just give up.

Maybe you’re fooling yourself.

But you know what would happen if you stopped sculpting?

Those beautiful visions you have in your dreams would never come alive in clay.

There would be a hole in your life.

This thing that gives you so much pleasure would be gone.

Is the opinion of some all-too-human judge REALLY worth giving up what makes your heart sing?

Of course not!

You don’t sculpt because you need the approval of others.

You do it because your heart yearns to express itself.

Love is like that.

The art of loving another person is a practice that brings you joy.

It’s wonderful when that other person gives you approval and makes you feel special.

But you don’t love in order to get his approval.

You love because this is what you do.

This is your heart yearning to express itself.

And nothing he does can stop you from using your heart for what it was meant to do.

2. Stuck emotions

After a relationship ends, there are so many intense feelings swirling inside you.

Love and hate and desire and anger and longing and repulsion.

You want to dump those feelings on him.

Make HIM feel as bad as you’re feeling right now.

But would that help?

You need to find a way to discharge those intense emotions so they’re no longer hurting you OR anyone else.

Dr. Emily Nagoski calls this completing the stress response cycle.

It’s a practice everyone should have in their self-care toolkit.

It includes three strategies:

  1. Exercise. Emotions get lodged in your body. Work them out. Get your heart pumping. Go hard until you can feel that tension release.
  2. Seek safety. Find comfort in someone who can hold you, either emotionally or physically. Ask for a big long hug or a cuddle.
  3. Sleep. A lot of healing happens overnight while we sleep. Our brains use that time to process memories, draining the emotional charge away as your brain sorts through the confusing patterns and learns from the experience.


3. The gaping hole he left behind

Relationships take up so much of our lives.

When they’re over, there’s this absence.

What did you even do before you met him?

I challenge you to flip that question:

What did your relationship STOP you from doing?

What did you really enjoy doing that you no longer had time for in the relationship?

What did you want to do, but he never wanted to do?

Relationships keep us busy, but they also force us to compromise.

We don’t have as much time to spend on ourselves, or other friendships.

So start thinking about all the ways in which your relationship held you back or constricted you or hampered you…

And use your freedom to explore those possibilities.

The period after a breakup is incredibly painful…

But it can also lead to big breakthroughs.

You have a chance to start over.

You have a chance to do things your way.

And nothing a man can do to you will ever take away your right to love with all your heart.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Secret to Instant Sex Appeal

Would you rather  look  sexier or  feel   sexier?  What if you could have BOTH? You can. And no matter if you’re currently single or happily dating, the effect on your love life can be profoundly positive. There are many ways to feel sexier.  But one of the simplest ways is the tried and true cosmetic, lipstick. Psychologists have known about the “lipstick effect” for a while. The term was coined after the Great Depression when cosmetic sales soared despite limited financial resources. [1]  It was later confirmed as a legitimate trend. But not without some backlash. A few years ago, a group of researchers argued that women only try to make themselves more attractive to secure a mate.  [2]  The theory was understandable unsettling, as it suggested women will do whatever’s necessary just to find a man. But a recent study has revealed something new. A team of Harvard researchers found that women actually perform cognitive tasks  better...
Post a Comment
Read more

12 words that trigger a man’s love response - secret signal

If your man is hot or cold, acting distant or putting you last on the priority list then you will definitely want to see this. Did you know there’s a 12 word sentence you can say to your man... that will trigger intense feelings of love and instinctual attraction for you deep within his chest? Because hidden in these 12 words is a “secret signal” that fuels a man’s instinct to love, please and protect you with all his heart... >> 12 Words That Trigger A Man’s Love Response   " I've realized I won't be happy without you in my life" This instinct is so hardwired into a man’s genetics that it will drive him to work harder than ever before to make your relationship the best part of both of your lives. In fact, triggering this powerful instinct is so important to having the best possible relationship with your man that once you send your man one of these “Secret Signals”... ...You’ll immediately notice him open his mind and heart to you in a way...
1 comment
Read more

The Attraction Trip-Wire that Awakens a Man’s Deepest Longing for Love

Trip Wire: “A hidden trigger that sets off a series of explosive events.” Deep within the heart of every man is an intense longing to be someone’s hero. This longing has ancient origins. You see,the cause of this longing is written into the very fabric of his DNA. And there it lies, dormant… until one day, the right trigger unleashes its power. I’d like to show you how to become that trigger, and how   to awaken the full force your man’s bonding instinct. But first, a story. It’s the story of human connection.  Before we can care deeply about someone, we must know something about their life story. Because stories evoke empathy.  Stories allow us to picture ourselves in someone else’s shoes.  Stories form the foundation of all human connection. They create the sensation of one shared life experience. It’s strange, but true, that we can even find ourselves rooting for thieves and criminals so long as we see their story unfold. Movies like  ...
Post a Comment
Read more