Article from  dating coach  James Bauer [1] Some of my clients tell me that they already know how to deal with men. “You’ve got to train a man like you train a dog,” they say. “Ignore his bad behavior and reward his good behavior.” It’s a common belief, but  such  a missed opportunity for connection. Treating a partner like a pet won’t bring your hearts closer. Once you understand the real reason that men respond better to praise than to criticism… It might just break your heart. The Drive to Perform Men are driven by the need to perform. Surviving the rough-and-tumble world of men requires outperforming their peers. If a man can’t bring in the most sales, he tries to have the sharpest wit or the biggest muscles or the most attractive girlfriend. He’s always looking for ways to win. Why is winning so important to men? Because winning makes men feel valuable and worthy…like we finally found a way to measure up. It’s the social conditioning we receive from a very young...

Article from  dating coach  James Bauer [1] When Dora met her college boyfriend, they were instantly inseparable. She knew from the beginning that they’d be together forever. They talked about the future. Even their parents assumed they’d get married. But as graduation neared, her boyfriend began pulling away. He finally told her that he wanted to take a break. He wanted to experience life. He didn’t want to “hold her back.” He broke her heart. She thought she’d never get over the grief. Ever since, she’s been looking for a relationship like the one she had with him. Where she  instantly  knows a guy is the one. Where it’s immediately apparent they’re going to be together forever. By the time I met her, she’d become incredibly frustrated with the men she met online. “They’re not willing to commit,” she told me. “They don’t know what they want. They’re not willing to have a conversation about the future. It’s like they’re boys in a grown man’s body.” Where have all th...

Article from  dating coach  James Bauer [1] Cecilia was describing her new boyfriend to me. “It’s fun, it’s exciting, but when I’ve needed him, he isn’t there. It feels like I can’t share everything that’s going on in my life with him, because he tunes out. I think he finds it annoying when I talk too much.” She frowned. “What’s going on, James? Am I too needy? I feel like I’m beating my head against the wall.” “Well,” I said, “Sounds to me like you  are  beating your head against a wall.” The truth is, some men are like walls. They’re not interested in an emotional connection. They want a relationship for the fun of it. And that’s okay if you want the same thing. But if you’re like Cecilia, wondering whether you’re wrong to want more, wondering whether your desire to feel emotionally close to him makes you needy… Then there’s something I’d like to share with you. What you’re about to learn is one of the  scientifically-proven  secrets to lasting lifelong l...

What’s the #1 reason people don’t get into relationships? You know this… It’s because  they’re worried about getting hurt. And why are they worried? Because they’ve been there before. That first big breakup can scar you for life. The pain swamps you. You NEVER want to feel this way again. And yet a life without love isn’t an option. So what can do you do? You can learn to trust in your own ability to heal. Living life to the fullest means you’ll get scraped and bruised. You can either get angry at yourself for allowing yourself to get hurt… OR you can make it a practice of lovingly tending to those scrapes and bruises… Knowing they’ll heal and you’ll be back out there enjoying life soon. Here are 3 emotional wounds you’ll need to tend to after a breakup, and how to do it. 1. Feeling unlovable. The worst part of a breakup is feeling him withdraw his love from you. It was once so warm, and now it’s cold. You’re not his special person anymore. He’s turned his back on you. And if you e...