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Three secrets for building momentum in your romantic relationship

Lots of things matter in life. Your career. Your health. Your finances. But nothing matters quite as much as your relationships.


I mean, think about it. What's the fun of "succeeding" if there's no one there to celebrate it with you?

Even something as simple as a beautiful sunset loses much of its significance if there's no one by your side to enjoy it with you.

Romantic relationships. Two people discovering a special kind of joy in each other's arms. Two people who want each other more than anything else.

It's exciting. It's beautiful. And it's worth going after.

But sometimes you don't know how to go after it. The man you love could be standing right in front of you, but you simply don't know how to win his heart.

Or problems rob your relationship of momentum before it can become what it was meant to be.

It's not fair! You can see what you want. And you're willing to work REALLY hard to get it. But there's something blocking your way.

What's blocking your love life?

Well, it comes down to this. There's nothing to grab on to! You can't get a foothold.

It's like being at the bottom of a pit with perfectly smooth walls, rounded on all sides. You can't climb your way out if there's nothing to grab hold of.

The pit is just wide enough so that you cannot reach both sides at once. All the motivation in
the world won't help you out of this situation. You need someone to throw you a rope.

How To Build Relationship Momentum Fast

Momentum matters. Your relationship needs forward momentum. Without it you feel stuck in the mud. Like a race car with tons of horsepower but tires that spin uselessly in a muddy ditch.


But with momentum everything changes.

With a running start, any car could coast past the muddy patch...even with flat tires. Pure momentum. It's powerful stuff.

How to use momentum to your advantage?

Three secrets for building momentum in your romantic relationship.

Secret #1
Think beyond the First Step

The hardest part about building momentum is the very first step.

A train can transport a lot of cargo, using a very small amount of fuel. And once the train's momentum builds, you better stay out of its way. But from a stopped position, the train barely move at all.

It can feel like that in your relationship. Which is why a lot of people never bother with trying to build momentum.

After a first attempt to budge the relationship forward, it feels hopeless.
Nothing changed. You give up.

Single woman is focused on making a guy fall in love with her so he will want to be her boyfriend or husband. That's the goal.

She doesn't think about much else beyond that goal. As a result, her vision of the future limits her success.

It's easiest to explain with an example. So I'll show you how this works with Melody's story.

Melody wants Jeff to see her as more than a friend. So she does the kinds of things you would expect. She tries to hold his gaze a little longer. She looks for opportunities to get time with him alone.

She does her best to look attractive whenever she's likely to bump into him. Oh, and she actually bmps into him once in a while ("accidentally" of course).

That's all great. The problem arises when he doesn't respond the way she wants him to.

Frustration replaces hope. Irritation replaces confidence. And those emotions affect the way he perceives her. It changes the experience for him in a negative way.

And all this happens before she's had a chance to build up any momentum at all. After a few weeks of feeling frustration and despair, she tries again.

But she simply repeats the same process over again. Try. Get frustrated. Give up. Repeat.

It's an endless cycle of frustration. What melody needs is a foothold. Something that will let her get beyond the first step. That foothold is something I call a "vision boost." It's where you forget about what you want from him, and focus instead on what he's missing.

And what is it that he's missing?

You.

You and the tremendous benefits he would receive if he could ever wake up to the reality of what you have to offer. After all, you have a lot to offer, right? If you truly love this man, his life is going to be MUCH better if he has you in it. That's because you want to make him happy.

Think about the value of true love...
Two people who love each other so much their greatest happiness in life comes from making the other partner happy. When both people feel this way, a tremendous amount of value (translate: happiness) has been unlocked by a decision to be together.

That's the value that you have to offer him. Never forget that. Because that's going to make all the difference in the "vibe" you give off while interacting with him.

It's a vibe that says...
"I'm cool, calm, patient, and completely confident in what I have to offer. You'd be lucky to have me. And the gift I have to offer you is literally priceless."

And Here's the Really Good News
Just like he can sense frustration, irritation, and annoyance, he can also sense the opposite.
He can sense the positive, alluring vibe that happens when you focus on what you have to offer him.

But there's more to it than just that.
Something changes inside you when you adopt this belief system. The belief that you have something incredibly valuable to offer.

It changes the way you think. And it changes the way you think in such a way that you begin to automatically build momentum.

The way you build momentum is by investing in a future you feel confident about. You begin to take small actions that reflect the confidence you feel in what the relationship will become.

You no longer make small, frustrated attempts to grasp for control. You see things differently now. He is coming to you. With that new layer of patience, a new strategy becomes natural to you. I call it the 1% rule.

Secret # 2
The 1% Rule

Let's review the main goal. It's momentum. Forward momentum for your relationship.

Start small. Try to improve something by just 1%.

If you're trying to get someone else to change, that's a good thing! Start small. Let momentum build so it does the work for you. Get someone to take action, and something strange happens. They observe their own actions and conclude it was a good way to go.

What I'm referring to here is a unique finding from the field of social psychology experiments.

Humans often look at their own actions to decide what they believe. That sounds backwards, doesn't it? But it's a remarkable truth about how all people are wired. I see myself as someone who introduces people, connects others, and roams the cafeteria to make social connections.

It's just one tiny step, but my own actions change how I perceive myself. It works the same way in relationships. Get him to take one small step. Something that would be very hard to object to. Like helping you move a heavy box, or giving his opinion on a decision you're considering. Then just improve on this foundation 1% at a time.


Momentum doesn't happen with a sudden burst of effort. It happens when you start small and build on that momentum as it picks up speed.

"It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backward." Old Chinese Proverb.
So we're talking about momentum as it applies to your romantic life.

How do you use the 1% rule to build momentum in your relationship right now?

Can you imagine one tiny step? One tiny action you could invite him to take? One action that someone would only do if they liked you or wanted to spend more time with you? Start there. See what happens. Build momentum. And here's why it's called the 1% rule. You can build momentum fast by improving your relationship just 1% at a time.

Tiny change often results in big results much faster than we would expect. That's because of the power of compounding. You're not just adding one plus one as the days pass. Because 1% of no relationship is very little, but 1% of a relationship that has been growing for several months is actually quite a lot.

Transform his small actions into a pathway that leads him to you.

Secret #3
Define Progress as "Pleasure" 

Let's assume you're making progress with a guy. He's shown the early signs of interest. And you can tell he genuinely enjoys spending time with you. But something is holding him back. What is it? Why does he seem to be dragging his feet?
He was very interested in the relationship from the start. But now it's as if he's second-guessing his commitment. Like he's not sure about the thing that's building between the two of you. Why is this happening?

He feels pulled in two different directions. He wants the good stuff that comes from his relationship with you. But he's nervous about what it all means. Men go through several stages in life.

Each stage changes how they react to the prospect of a committed relationship.

Men like to win. From the time they are boys, males hesitate to take on a challenge unless they have a certain level of confidence in a positive outcome. How does that impact his approach to relationships?

Well, in a relationship he wants to "win" at gaining your approval and status. But wait a minute. If that's true, why is he holding back? Can't he tell you want to move things forward?

And the answer comes down to this: A commitment creates a threat. The threat comes from his fear of loss. You see, men judge themselves and other men based on accomplishments.

He has dreams about making a difference in the world, or proving his worth by earning lots of money, or proving his worth by helping lots of people.Then there are social pressures from his guy friends to go on adventures, live the bachelor lifestyle, and answer to no one. Then there's the desire to win at his relationship with you. That means gaining your approval.

Success in a relationship means he has to keep you happy. And why is that a problem? Because he's not sure he can please everyone at once. He's not sure who he will become if the relationship continues to move forward. Ambivalence sets in. Ambivalence is the biggest enemy of momentum in romantic relationships.

Give him a clear definition of success. You see, he's not afraid of having a fantastic relationship with you. He's not afraid of succeeding with you. He's not afraid of creating something deep and meaningful with you. Rather, he's afraid of failure. He's afraid of giving you the wrong idea and then changing his mind. He's afraid of losing. He's afraid of letting others down (you, himself, his friends).

It's not you. You are pleasurable and fun. But commitment feels like something else. It feels like an unknown.And floating in a world of ambivalence-a world where he never totally commits to anything-allows him to sidestep the fear of getting stuck in a situation where he can't win.So your job is to remove the "unknown" part of this equation.

How do you do that?

You do it by giving him a more concrete definition of success. In other words, show him exactly what he needs to do in order to "win" with you. Remove ambiguity. Remove the unknown. Sometimes that's simply a matter of literally describing to him exactly what you want at this  stage of the relationship.

But more often, a completely different method is needed. Here's the other method.

Define success as "pleasure." Link his happiness to your happiness. Get rid of the sense that you are two different people trying to get your needs met separately. And instead, encourage a new mindset.

The new mindset is that you can enhance each other's lives by working toward that goal directly. As a team. And as a team, you'll always be discussing strategy. It will never be this one big commitment talk with all its scary unknowns. Instead, it will be a continuous and ongoing process of discovering new ways to enhance each other's happiness. The relationship becomes centered around this question: "How can we purposefully plan our interactions to maximize each other's happiness?"

That's a surprisingly intimate question. Use it and something strange begins to happen. The relationship becomes a shared project.Something you work on together.Now he feels in control. So it no longer feels like a trap. It feels like a shared project designed to fit with the other realities of both your lives. You start having open conversations about things couples usually avoid, like planning time apart, or asking if it's okay to find creative ways to spend less money on dates. The effect on your relationship is the opposite of what you would expect. These conversations lead to a sudden boost in your relationship momentum.

Why? Becauseit removes the fear of forging ahead. Instead of wanting more time away from you, these open discussions make him desire you more. Instead of wanting to be less romantic, he wants to impress you even more. Now the relationship makes him feel like he's winning again. Just like it felt when he first tried to make a connection with you. No ambivalence. Now he can take his foot off the brakes. Momentum begins to build again.

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The effect on your relationship will be much stronger and much more immediate than you would expect. So only use this last momentum booster if you actually want your relationship to make a sudden leap forward. You're probably wondering what this is. And if you're an intelligent person, you might even be

 Click on this link to discover a whole new world of possibility. And claim the happiness you deserve.So you can see what drives him, what he cares about, and what he needs to thrive in a relationship with you. #sponsored


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