The 4 Milestones on the Journey to Relationship Commitment

Relationship commitment is not a onetime event even though we sometimes think that it is. 

And there lies the problem as we then have unrealistic expectations about our relationship and about commitment. 

We get frustrated with ourselves and with our partner when they don't seem to be doing this onetime event quickly enough when in reality we should understand that it is a journey and they are somewhere on that road. 

So what are the milestones on this journey to relationship commitment?

1. Surrender! 

This not what it sounds like but more of a willingness to do what needs to be done to keep your new love interest happy and close to you. 

You give up some of your independence, time and resources for them so that you can give to them. 

You no longer guard your personal space fiercely but you also do not want them all the way in.

You realize that your life is better with them but you still want to maintain some of your own independence. 

You will give of yourself rather grudgingly as you fight to balance them and the rest of your life. 

You are not all the way into the relationship but you are not all the way out either. 

You are somewhere in the equivalent of no-man's-land. This is the first milestone on the journey to relationship commitment.

2. Abandonment

This is a more severe form of surrender where you now give yourself completely to the relationship. 

You do not hold back any part of yourself from the relationship. You are sold out to your partner and the relationship that you have with them. 

You give all of yourself to your partner and relationship.

This is when your friends tease you that you are 'whipped' as your partner commands most of your attention and interest. 

You don't abandon your friends but even they realize that you are completely hooked to your partner. This is the second milestone on your journey to relationship commitment.

3. Contentment

You are at peace with the decision to be with your partner. You see your partner as they are but there is nowhere else that you want to be. 

You have seen them sick, ugly, angry, happy, sad etc. but this is where you are happiest. Of course you have bad days but you are at peace with your chosen partner even on such days.

4. Participation

You are now part of a team and you now work with your partner in facing the world. You are now their active partner. 

You contribute yourself and your resources to get whatever needs to be done to meet your partner's career or business etc. needs.

As a team you will have a vision for your future and you both participate in coming up with the vision and in contributing to see it come to pass.

This is the final milestone on your journey to relationship commitment.

As you can see it is possible for you and your partner to be at different milestones.

Good relationships happen when both of you are at the participation milestones because you are fully committed to each other and your relationship.

If you are frustrated because you and your partner are at different milestones then I would suggest to learn here the Woman Men And Never Want To Leave will aid you identify the problem and solve it.